I've been talking to you constantly, but I have yet to hear one word from you. That makes me sad. Please find a way. I miss you so much. I'm trying to learn how to live, but it's hit or miss.
I had no idea how hard it is to be the "surviving spouse". It requires more than I ever thought possible.
OH, that whole thing about stages of grief is a riot! Not funny, like: Ha! Ha! funny, more like: funny insanity funny.
The short version is DABDA which stands for denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I vaguely remember watching a movie about a comedian who did a stand up comedy about those stages of grief. Yup, with my off-color sense of humor, I could probably create a comedy routine, too. I just don't think anyone would laugh.
What I have realized is a show stopper. Grief is not linear.
I think I have always understood that, but not REALLY KNOWN IT. Now, I get it. I REALLY KNOW IT! I live it. Every day, I manage to live every stage several times. They aren't in any particular order. There is no timer. Linear would be nice. Beginning at Anger then ending at Acceptance seems like a map. You get to acceptance by following the directions. Ha! Double HA! HA!
Now, I know with every fiber of my being that the journey through life has no path.
"I will love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my Honey you'll be."
Love,Babe
