Saturday
March 10, 2012
Here I am. That is
all there is. Here I am. I am not the great I Am. I am simply, here. More precisely, I think I am here. Most of the time I am watching Patti to see
what she will do or say next. Will she
cry? Will she speak? Will she answer questions politely? Will she get up? Will she get dressed? Will she get where she is going on time? Does she even know where she is supposed to
be? What is she going to do without
him?
Him. Honey. Prince. The Love of My Life. Chuck.
Him. He was the air
that I breathe. He was life flowing
through my heart with every beat. He was
my purpose, my reason, my sanity, my joy, my sweetness. He gave me courage. He calmed my fears. He was my strength. He kept me sane. He is why I'm not a crazy old cat lady living behind a dumpster. He empowered me to be able to do anything but
he took care of everything so that I did not have to do anything. He made me laugh and cry. He joined me when I did either.
When my world felt like it was perfect in every way, he was
on cloud nine with me. When I though
there was no hope and didn't want to live, he comforted me with his
presence. His words never belittled my feelings. He never told me I shouldn't feel that way.
I try to be who he would want me to be. I
try with every breath to appear normal.
I haven't known normal since July.
